Independent Living Checklist: 3 Things to Look For – Social and Recreational 

Tea and Tour December 2011

This post is the second of a five part Independent Living Checklist, featuring items to look when visiting senior living communities.  This post highlights the social and recreational aspect of retirement living.  We find so many seniors are not only looking for the peace of mind and ease that a full-continuum community offers, but many also want the neighbors and friends that accompany this lifestyle.  When visiting independent living and retirement communities, keep these points in mind: 

1. What kinds of groups and individual recreation are offered?  Who schedules them?

            All senior living communities are made up of individuals with an extensive history of hobbies and interests – and the events and programs should reflect this richness and variety.  The Lifestyles Coordinator should meet routinely with members to help design the calendar and drive specific programming.  In response to several members at The Atrium at The Cedars who enjoy yoga and tai chi, we now have weekly classes facilitated by local teachers.  Another example was in response to our small colony of artists here at The Atrium, where we created a studio for individual use, and now host classes and programs for our members.  Does the community respond to their members and does the calendar offer opportunities to complement your own interests? 

2. Does the community schedule trips or to events off premises?

            Many residents of independent living communities continue to drive, even though the community may offer transportation.  The advantage of participating in planned excursions is that not only are the details taken care of for you (tickets or tables reserved, tours scheduled) but also you have a small group of friends to enjoy the fun with you.  The Atrium offers weekly excursions to local restaurants, the symphony, theater, senior college, as well as the more routine trips to shopping and personal appointments.  How often are these outings scheduled and are they of interest to you? 

3. Does the schedule of events incorporate the various aspects of wellness?

            Wellness is a key aspect of the culture at The Cedars – assuring we meet the social, intellectual, vocational, physical, spiritual, and emotional needs of our residents/ members and staff is important to us.  Does the community offer spiritual and religious services?  Are there not only social events but also opportunities to broaden your horizons and grow, such as through lectures and classes?  Is the fitness area and accompanying instruction enough to maintain or challenge your strength and flexibility?  Are there plenty of opportunities to gather with the community in large groups or small, when you want to? 

If you have any questions about these points or living at The Atrium at The Cedars, call us today at 207-221-7100 and ask for Kelly Prucnal.

Mel and Fran have been married for over 60 years.

HOW TO STAY MARRIED LONGER

by Mel Stone

In early 2009, we asked Mel Stone, who lives at the Atrium at The Cedars, about the success of his long marriage with Fran Stone. Here’s how he replied:

As Fran and I enter our 66th year of wedlock (is this something like gridlock?), we note more folks imagine us as experts on how to stay married that long. Or, more to the point how to stay happily married that long.

Marriage counselors tell us that the two leading causes of marital friction are money and sex, but not necessarily because of a super abundance of either or both.

I think the simple formula lies in the matter of controversy, or, rather, in avoiding it!

Experience has taught that if one finds oneself involved in controversy with a marriage partner, don’t try to win. For in marital controversy winning a battle usually means losing the war!

In our marriage there was one controversy of long standing, that of whether the toilet paper should unroll over the top or from the bottom of the roll. My position was that it was easier to use when unrolled over the top. My partner always took the position that toilet tissue should unroll from the bottom of the roll.

Ultimately I seemed to have prevailed, because, after months of my replacing new rolls to unroll from the top, I noticed one day when friend Fran had replaced a roll that it unrolled from the top.

She never said another word about it nor did I.

So that’s the basic secret to a long and happy marriage.  Unroll with the punches!

By Melanie Desjardins, Manager of Care Coordination at The Cedars

Personal visits can make a big difference for loved ones who live at The Cedars.  Although our Life Enrichment Department offers several activities, arriving with a planned activity can make your visit more pleasant and meaningful for both you and your loved one. Here are five creative things to do while visiting:

1. Bring photos of family and friends from days gone by and/or recent photos of their house or hometown.
2. Help your loved one write letters or send cards to people.
3. Together, start to create a photo album, framed photograph collection or a poster to hang in their room.
4. Cook your favorite family meal together in our Life Enrichment kitchen.
5. Create a life story to frame for all staff to see.  Write about the great life of your loved one!
6. Play word and trivia games to keep your loved one’s mind alert.

Harriet Bogdonoff

Eileen Balladur

Eileen Balladur is one of them. “Before my husband passed away, we usually socialized at home with family. The Atrium gave me the courage to get out of my comfort zone and try new things. I love everything about being here,” she says.

Nervous about making friends if you move to The Atrium alone? Don’t be. The Atrium has an Ambassador program for new members. Eileen remembers how much her own Ambassador, Janet Silver, helped her feel at home. “Janet lives right across the hall. She greeted me every day, took me to activities and introduced me to other members. It made me feel so welcome and included.”

Harriet Bogdonoff agrees. “Everyone here is so friendly. I love the nightly social hour, when everyone brings a favorite wine to the study before dinner.”

Eileen also loves sharing meals with others again. “I like coming down to the beautiful dining room every evening and enjoying a wonderful dinner with my friends,” she adds. “There’s only one dining room, and no assigned seating. Everything is done for us. We just enjoy each other’s company. It is the highlight of my day.”

Harriet also appreciates the additional free time life at The Atrium provides, and all the different ways there are to fill it. “I chair the Lifestyle Committee,” she says. “We bring musical performances and educational speakers right to The Atrium. I’m taking classes at the Osher Lifelong Learning Institute and learning Tai Chi. It is so easy to get into Portland for cultural events or to try a new restaurant.” And Eileen spends so much time on yoga and water aerobics, she might have to drop Tai Chi!

And both women love spending time at The Atrium with their families, just as they used to at home. Our members can invite their family to our Seder, play with the grandkids in our pool or reserve the private dining room for a catered birthday dinner – the possibilities are endless. “My daughter and her husband live nearby,” says Harriet. “We go to every First Friday Art Walk in Portland and travel every year. This fall, we’re going to Prague!” Eileen’s daughter loves her cozy apartment at The Atrium, too.

The Atrium is small enough that you feel part of the community right away. “The size is perfect,” says Eileen. “You can be alone, or spend time with others.”