Independent Living: Senior Retirement Living

Mel and Fran Stone

Mel and Fran have been married for over 60 years.

HOW TO STAY MARRIED LONGER

by Mel Stone

In early 2009, we asked Mel Stone, who lives at the Atrium at The Cedars, about the success of his long marriage with Fran Stone. Here’s how he replied:

As Fran and I enter our 66th year of wedlock (is this something like gridlock?), we note more folks imagine us as experts on how to stay married that long. Or, more to the point how to stay happily married that long.

Marriage counselors tell us that the two leading causes of marital friction are money and sex, but not necessarily because of a super abundance of either or both.

I think the simple formula lies in the matter of controversy, or, rather, in avoiding it!

Experience has taught that if one finds oneself involved in controversy with a marriage partner, don’t try to win. For in marital controversy winning a battle usually means losing the war!

In our marriage there was one controversy of long standing, that of whether the toilet paper should unroll over the top or from the bottom of the roll. My position was that it was easier to use when unrolled over the top. My partner always took the position that toilet tissue should unroll from the bottom of the roll.

Ultimately I seemed to have prevailed, because, after months of my replacing new rolls to unroll from the top, I noticed one day when friend Fran had replaced a roll that it unrolled from the top.

She never said another word about it nor did I.

So that’s the basic secret to a long and happy marriage.  Unroll with the punches!